The Independent Dependent Girl

No, that was not a typo.

Yes, that is the title of this article.

Now that we have that all figured out, let’s proceed.

So, the reason that I decided to write this post, is that a few days ago in a conversation with a new friend, the subject of true dependence on God came up. As I told her the story of my journey to true dependence on God, I really felt the need to share this with you all as well.

See, a few years ago after graduating high school and starting college, I began to grow frustrated. I was frustrated that I did not yet have a car. I was annoyed that I did not yet have the job that I wanted. I was angry that my parents were so strict that they wouldn’t even let me drive fifteen minutes to my church on my own.

That time in my life was so difficult, because I made it so. Looking around at my college classmates and even some of my church friends, I came to the conclusion that I was missing out in life. I constantly compared myself to others and ended up feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

That time in my life was so difficult, because I made it so.

At one point, I remember having an argument with my mom because she wouldn’t allow me to do something. I remember feeling so angry inside. My blood was practically boiling. I felt like my mom was holding me back, she wouldn’t let me become independent. She was overprotecting me and I felt as if I were being smothered. That day I locked myself in my room for hours without speaking to her. I don’t think I had ever held out the silent treatment for that long.

When finally the hunger for a snack got me out of my room, I remember feeling horrible for my behavior. Here I am, a young adult in college, behaving like a child. I realized in that moment that my character needed molding. Instead of talking things through with my mom, I was turning everything into all about me. I wasn’t taking into account the fact that to my mom, I didn’t seem ready to take on more responsibilities.

I realized in that moment that my character needed molding.

That’s when I decided to submit my need for independence to the Lord.

It’s absolutely normal to graduate high school and want to become more independent. At this point in our lives we begin to feel like true adults. Many of us find jobs and begin to pay some of our bills. We begin to hit important milestones in our journey to becoming in our own person.

Unfortunately, if as young women if we are not careful, we begin to rely in our own strength, rather than in God. At that season in my life, I wanted to do it all myself. The more that I tried to do on  my own, the more things that would go wrong. See, it’s essential to have Godly council in our lives. We need people that can point out to us the things that we may be doing wrong and give us biblical advice to do them better.

As young women if we are not careful, we begin to rely in our own strength, rather than in God.

Finally I learned the power of submitting everything to God in prayer. I realized that I was becoming egocentric. I wanted to have a job, money, and possessions. Indeed these are all great things, but when they come before God, they become idols.

This bible verse became very instrumental in my life:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, ESV)

Do you know how much anxiety came off of my shoulders when I let go of this idea of having to be like everyone else? Through prayer and spending time with Jesus, I finally understood that God’s design for me was perfect. His design for me was to go to college and serve as much as possible in ministry. Over time, He has led me to go the way that He wants me to go for the specific season of my life.

Look friend, it’s much more amazing when we follow His unique design for our lives, rather that doing what others around us are doing.

Be encouraged by the fact that God has a unique plan for your life that He does not have for any other person. Whether it is to be a stay at home mom, a working girl, or to be in full-time ministry; it’s all about what He wants to do in your own life.

God’s plans are exciting and adventurous! Be empowered today to follow God’s lead for your life. Be a strong independent young woman who is completely dependent on God.

God’s plans are exciting adventurous!


By Carla Lopez, Co-founder of Empowered Beauty


Published by Empowered Beauty

We are a collective of young women desiring to show God's beauty shinning through His daughters. Empowered = to give authority.

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