Before you begin reading this blog, let’s get one thing straight. I am not promoting the feminist view of marriage and singleness which implies that a woman does not need a man to be happy and support her. That a woman can do all things on her own and should therefore put off marriage until it is entirely convenient for her. This view is wrong and anti-biblical.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created with the purpose of modeling Christ’s relationship to the church and God’s wholehearted devotion to His most beloved creation, humanity. I do hold the hope for marriage for sometime in the future.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created with the purpose of modeling Christ’s relationship to the church…
I am 21 years old and have never been in a serious dating relationship. These words used to make me cringe whenever I spoke them out loud but now have lost much of their sting. Why had admitting that I am a single young adult become so shameful?
I have realized that being married is not the pinnacle of human life. There are many other seasons and stages in a person’s life that hold value and meaning. Don’t get me wrong, I have a high view of marriage and honor what the bible has to say about this topic. I mean, think about it, most humans spend a larger portion of their life being married than being single, so obviously the topic of marriage is very important!
There are many other seasons and stages in a person’s life that hold value and meaning.
However, marriage or being in a relationship does not make me a less or more valuable individual in the kingdom of God or in society. Before the eyes of the Lord, I am valued and cared for. Yet, everywhere I turn, I am being fed this message that being in a relationship is so much better than being single and therefore I should do anything in my power to find my “second half.” I didn’t even realize that a part of me was missing?
So, why is being single not such a bad thing?
Well, my time is my own. While I understand that I am still to submit to my parents’ authority and abide by the rules of my home, I also understand that I have freedom to hang out with my friends and spend as much time alone as I want, whenever I want. When a person is dating, they have to invest time and energy into building a relationship with another person. This is not an optional thing.
As a 21 year old, I have chosen to spend my time wisely. I enjoy reading books written by powerful women that are an incredible example to young women like me. I spend a lot of time praying, studying and growing as a person. I learn everyday from the relationships around me. This is much easier done when single.
On top of all this, my season as a single girl has taught me one very important lesson. I. AM. NOT. PERFECT.
Yes, the most important lesson any human should ever learn.
Sadly, I had become very proud and believed that I was somehow perfect. Obviously, nothing could be further from the truth. I had created a long list of traits I longingly hoped to find within one person to spend the rest of my life with. I now realize that there were very few of those traits that I actually possessed.
As the Lord has continued to work in my heart, I am coming to terms with the reality that there is no perfect guy out there. Just as whomever I marry is not expected to be perfect, I will not be expected to be perfect.
This doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t work to correct character issues or submit myself to the Lord everyday. On the contrary, it should be a starting point for this journey called maturity.
My point really is this, use your time wisely as a single person. While you may feel desperate to find a partner and sometimes might feel very lonely after watching you third friend get proposed to, know that there is a purpose to your singleness. Let God transform you into the best wife (or husband) that you could possibly ever be. Trust me girl (or guy, whichever), you and I will not be single forever. For now, our job is to pray and let God order our steps.
Paola Lopez- Co-founder of Empowered Beauty