I’m twenty-two, a nursing school graduate, a worship pastor, and a ministry leader. To add to my list of accomplishments, I am also SINGLE. Yes ladies, that’s right, I find it to be an accomplishment to be single. Want to know why? Let me tell you.
It is no easy feat to decide to remain single for the sake of finding a husband. See, when I was sixteen years old I began to long to date. All my friends had boyfriends, and boys my age now began to become attractive (thanks puberty!).
Oddly enough, I felt God speak so clearly to me. He told me to make a covenant with Him. To choose to hold off on dating until He released me to do so. In the most tender way, He was asking me to surrender this very normal desire in my life, so that He could do something amazing with it. That is exactly what I did.
He told me to make a covenant with Him.
Many young men approached me throughout my time in high school and my years in college. They would spot me in the cafeteria and ask me for my phone number, or even ask me to prom. My answer was always, “No.” The thing was, that from a very early age, God had taught me that dating wasn’t just about having a good time. Rather, dating was more about finding a husband.
I know this idea of dating being such a serious matter as this, is foreign to so many people. It is the popular belief that dating is about finding a cool guy I can hang with, so that my weekend nights won’t seem as dull. Honestly though, it’s way more than that.
I love this bible verse in Proverbs 18:22,
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
And he receives favor from the Lord.
(Proverbs 18:22, ESV)
See, God created marriage. He is the one who designed this whole thing. God didn’t make me as a woman, to be some guy’s hangout buddy. He didn’t create me to be a source of entertainment and companionship for someone that has no commitment to me.
Yes, these words may seem harsh, but I need my dear sisters to understand that they are wife material, not just girlfriend material. What this bible verse is saying, is that when a man finds you, he should be seeking out a wife, not just some girl to fulfill his needs. God is enough to fulfill all these needs. If we only seek romance but not a covenant relationship, it will only end in heartache.
If I must make it my mission in life to help girls understand that they are worth committing to, I surely will. Therefore, I made this covenant with God.
You are worth committing to.
If a man wishes to pursue a romantic relationship, they should do just that. Men should be gentlemen, and seek out opportunities to interact with the girls they like to get to know them better. A girl should expect no less. These are not old fashioned ideas, these are standards.
So, if you are frustrated with dating or don’t understand how to navigate this new world, I hope this article has somewhat encouraged you in this matter. Dating shouldn’t be recreational; this type of thinking leads to broken hearts. As always, ask God for his opinion, He will let you know.
By Carla Lopez, Co-founder of Empowered Beauty