I do not claim to be an expert in psychology or sociology. I can’t say that I am somehow fully qualified to give people advice concerning learning to better manage their thought life. But one thing I do claim, what I have learned through being processed by the Lord I want to give freely to other young women.
I recently took a family psychology class at my college. Our professor instructed us to take a personality test online, which although I thought was pointless, I complied with. I tested as having the most rare personality type on the planet; a mere 1% of the earth’s population actually understands me. What?! This explains a lot. Or does it?
This personality test told me what I have known all along, I cannot be defined. I cannot be boxed. Why? Because God created me unique and He did so for a purpose.
I cannot be defined.
What would happen if us, as young women, decided to stop comparing ourselves to each other and embraced who we are? What if we stopped wasting our efforts trying to be like one another and actually learned to highlight our differences and capitalize on them?
While looking up the meaning of the word identity, I came up with one overarching definition: Identity is the state of remaining the same under varying circumstances.
Identity is the state of remaining the same under varying circumstances.
What does this mean when it comes to being fully ourselves around others, specially in social media?
It is no secret that I grew up as a very shy girl. One of the underlying reasons for my shyness was that I felt that if people saw who I really was, they wouldn’t like me. I truly believed that who I was was, not good enough to be loved. This caused me to retreat deep within myself, shutting people out until I felt safe. I used my timidness as a safety blanket to hide myself from the world. While this made me more independent it also caused a lot of loneliness.
Some people may not struggle with shyness but many of us struggle with opening up and being truly ourselves with people. Some of us cover ourselves behind an obnoxious personality while others simply retreat quietly. Either way, for our own emotional health, it’s important to allow others to see us for who we really are.
Here are just a few tips that helped me overcome my shyness!
1) Never, ever compare yourself to anyone.
The number one killer of self-confidence is comparison. When we start focusing on what others have that we may lack, our perception of ourselves is drastically impaired. We begin to feel the need to be more like someone else than ourselves to receive approval from others.
2) Don’t focus so much on yourself.
When we put too much emphasis on ourselves we begin to pick ourselves apart. By pointing out our flaws, we allow insecurity to settle in and makes it home in our hearts. Instead, look outside of yourself, celebrate other people and step out of your comfort zone!
3) Don’t take yourself so seriously.
I am a very, very serious person. While I love to laugh, most of the time I am very quiet and tranquil. God speaks to me in very humorous ways just to remind me that I should never take myself too seriously. Life is fun. Embrace new situations freely and openly.
4) Accept who you are, and embrace it!
We have all been made different for a reason. It is vital to fulfilling the purpose of God over our lives that we embrace our uniqueness. As my favorite author, Lisa Bevere, puts it: “No one has ever or will ever walk the earth that can represent God like you can.”
By Paola Lopez, Co-Founder of Empowered Beauty